Traditionally, the mother of the bride plans the wedding completely solo, while the mother of the groom just simply shows up and dances with her son. Well those days are over, Mother of the grooms are equally important and share some of the wedding responsibilities. Just because your son has chosen his leading lady, there’s no need to take a back seat during the wedding planning. Mothers of the groom must find a way to involve themselves in the wedding planning process.
Here is a guideline to help you through the wedding planning process!
1. Embrace! Embrace! Embrace!
As soon as your son as popped the question, reach out to the bride and her family to express your excitement. Host an intimate dinner at your home with the essential family members. This will help to build a bond and a positive foundation. Whatever you do, don’t cry or be stand offish when you hear the news. Your reaction to the recent engagement can either strengthen or destroy your future relationship. Keep it positive and sweet!
2. Know your roles & responsibilities
Research and find out what is generally expected of a mother of the groom. You may find it difficult to discuss money with your future daughter in law, so contact your son and discuss what you are willing or can afford to contribute financially. Get a general idea from him what areas they need the most help in. Even if it’s not one of your traditional mother of the groom’s duties, if you can afford it, chip in and help.
3. Create your own wedding budget
Mother of the grooms are usually expected to pay for rehearsal dinner, attire, hotel stay and transportation expenses, wedding present, grooms attire, and bridal shower gift. Make a budget to stay on top of your expenses.
4. Show Interest
Stay connected to wedding or wedding plans. Call bride just to see how things are going. Be a listening ear. Don’t push your ideas or beliefs. Of course you can offer input, but don’t be pushy. Express to the bride early on that you would like to be included in picking a venue or dress shopping. Don’t assume that she will know to include you, most brides don’t. Communicate and let her know that although you don’t want to overstep her or her mother’s toes, you want to be a part of the wedding planning process.
5. Attend Bridal Shower
As the mother of the groom, you’re expected to attend the bridal shower and bring a gift.
6. The Groom’s family guest list
Sit down with the groom and create a guest list for your side of the family. If the bride’s family is footing the bill, try to stay within the maximum amount of guests allowed. If the number is unreasonable, then take it up with your son. If the bride & groom are footing the bill, then you can offer to pay for any additional guests that exceed the guest list. Remember if any issues arise speak with your son and allow him to speak for you or find a way to remedy the situation. Be considerate understand that your best friend or coworkers may not be allowed to attend. Try to remember that the day is about your son and who he deems important.
7. Keep Track of your family RSVP
As the mother of the groom, you are the leader of your side of the family. Make sure that everyone important got their invitation and make sure they rsvp in time. Make phone calls to contact guests who have failed to rsvp.
8. Host Rehearsal dinner
Offer and tell the bride of your intentions early on. Let her know you are committed to your roles as a mother of the groom and you will be hosting the rehearsal dinner. Make the rehearsal dinner be one last thing the bride has to worry about. Make sure the appropriated people are invited and the invitations go out in time, this is really your only time to shine, so make it good.